Dear Cathy,

We had two cats who were littermates and adopted as kittens. One of the two cats disappeared and hasn’t returned. The other is still mourning his lost brother. Is there anything we can do to comfort him or help him get over missing his brother? Would a new kitten help? — Mandy

Dear Mandy,

I’m so sorry to hear that one of your cats has disappeared. Cats can form strong bonds, especially littermates, so your cat’s grief is a natural response to the loss of his companion. While it’s tempting to bring home a new kitten right away, I would encourage you to take things slow. Here are some steps you can take to help him through this difficult time.

1. Give Your Cat Extra Attention
   Right now, the most important thing is to focus on your cat’s needs. Spend extra time with him each day through play, cuddling, or simply sitting nearby. Your attention will reassure him of his place in the home and strengthen your bond.
2. Provide Enrichment and Distraction
   Help keep his mind engaged and spirits lifted by introducing new toys, puzzle feeders, or scratching posts. A perch near a window where he can watch birds or a cozy new bed can also help distract him and provide comfort. Positive experiences like these will help fill the void left by his brother’s absence.
3. Allow Him Time to Grieve
   Grief takes time, and rushing to add another pet too soon could cause more stress. Cats need time to adjust to the change in their environment and routine. Allow him the space to process this loss before considering a new companion.
4. Slowly Introduce a New Cat or Kitten (When He’s Ready)
   Once your cat has had a few weeks or months to grieve and settle into his new normal, you can consider bringing home a new kitten. But only do so when you think your cat is ready—not just you. Cats are creatures of routine, and a new kitten will disrupt that, so thoughtful introductions are key to a successful transition.

Here are some tips for a smooth introduction:

• Keep the New Kitten in a Separate Room: Start by setting up a “safe room” for the new kitten. This gives the kitten time to adjust to their new environment and allows your older cat to remain in control of his familiar space.
• Scent Swapping: Before the cats meet face-to-face, swap their scents. Rub a towel or blanket on the kitten and place it in an area where your older cat likes to sleep. Do the same for the older cat and place his scented item in the kitten’s room. You can also swap their bedding or toys. Scent swapping helps both cats become familiar with each other in a non-threatening way.
• Room Rotation: Once both cats seem calm with the scent swapping, try rotating them between spaces. Move your older cat into the kitten’s room for short periods while the kitten explores the rest of the house. This helps the cats get used to each other’s scent in new locations while allowing them to explore safely without confrontation.
• Gradual Visual Introductions: After scent swapping and room rotations, allow the cats to see each other without direct contact. Use a baby gate, cracked door, or pet playpen to let them observe each other from a safe distance. Reward calm behavior from both cats with treats and praise. If either cat becomes agitated, take a break and try again later.
• Supervised Meetings: Once they are calm seeing each other, you can begin short, supervised introductions. Keep the sessions brief and positive, offering treats and gentle praise when they interact calmly. If tension rises, separate them and try again later.
• Reassure Your Older Cat: During the introduction process, give your older cat the bulk of your attention. This helps him feel secure and loved, like reassuring an older sibling when a new baby comes home. The kitten won’t yet have expectations of you, so focus on your older cat to reduce jealousy and stress.
• Allow Them to Set Their Own Pace: Remember that it’s normal for your older cat to hiss or swat at the kitten during early meetings. This is his way of setting boundaries, and as long as no one gets hurt, it’s part of the process. Over time, the two will learn to coexist and may even develop a bond.
• Provide Multiple Resources: Make sure there are enough food bowls, water bowls, litter boxes (the golden rule is one per cat plus an extra), scratching posts, and resting spaces to reduce competition. Cats often bond better when they don’t have to share essential resources.

5. Be Patient and Celebrate Progress
   It may take time, but your older cat will adjust to the new kitten. Fortunately, kittens are naturally curious and come with no expectations, which makes them easier for older cats to accept once they feel secure. With patience and careful introductions, they’ll likely become friends and bring new joy to your home.

Grief is a process, and your compassion will go a long way in helping your cat heal. By giving him extra love, providing enrichment, and introducing a new kitten only when he’s ready, you’ll set him up for success. Thank you for being so attentive to his needs, Mundy. Your love and care will help him through this difficult time, and before you know it, he may have a new friend to share his days with.

Cathy is a longtime animal advocate, syndicated pet columnist, animal welfare consultant, and children’s author. Send your pet questions to moc.tidnuptepobfsctd-762c02@yhtac. For more information, visit CathyRosenthal.com.

Our beloved husky Krypto is over 13 years old. He has had Valley Fever for over a year and has been taking compounded meds (Fluconazole) for eight months. He is very thin, although he eats a lot and has a good appetite. He drinks gallons of water every day. In fact, when the vet took a sample for analysis, it was almost all water. He pees a lot too. If the water bowl is empty, in the middle of the night he will howl next to my bed to let me know to refill it.

His main problem is his weak back legs. He cannot walk well and often sits down to rest. But he still loves to ride in the car and go to the park with his dog friends, but now, he will sit more in the shade. Lately, I have had to carry him back up the hill to get to the car. Also, sometimes he has difficulty getting through the pet door to go outside and pee. So, he has had some accidents inside the house. 

He eats good quality high protein dry dog food supplemented in the evening with canned dog food. Recently I am trying a supplement called “Joint Care”. I don’t know if it will help, but it is not hurting.

Krypto does not show any signs of being in pain. He wags his tail, loves to be petted and sits with his head up and ears perked when I talk with him. It is just his walking that is difficult and might be painful. They should make strap-on wheels for dogs like Krypto. 

What can I do for him? I have never had a dog die. We got him as a puppy. If he stops eating or seems to be in pain, I would consider having a vet come to our home to put him to sleep, but we are not there yet. When would I know it is time?  Why do you think he is drinking so much water? 

Please help me understand his journey to the Rainbow Bridge. We have never taken this trip before.

— Darlyne, via email

Dear Darlyne,

Helping a pet towards the end of his life can be difficult, especially if you are a first-time pet parent. Krypto’s general demeanor, appetite, elimination and overall energy will play a part in your decision on when to let him pass over, which is often referred to as the journey to the Rainbow Bridge. 

Some dogs will still look happy and wag their tails around their owners, even though they are in a lot of pain. If you think your dog is in pain, ask your veterinarian to prescribe medication to make him more comfortable. If his excessive thirst is not related to his current medications, he could be developing another health problem.

The good news is, there are rear support wheelchairs for dogs that may extend Krypto’s mobility and reduce his pain. I also once found an alternative veterinarian who gave my dog acupuncture treatments for hip dysplasia. It reduced pain and extended his mobility – and his life – for six more months.

The decision on when to let a pet go is by far the most difficult decision every pet parent will make. Sadly, I don’t think the decision ever gets any easier, so trust your gut. Look at your dog’s quality of life and watch for a sudden loss of appetite or disinterest in participating in life as signs it may be time to let him go.

Cathy M. Rosenthal is a longtime animal advocate, children’s author, syndicated pet columnist, and pet expert with more than 30 years in the animal welfare field. Send your pet questions, stories and tips to moc.tidnuptepobfsctd-2a4bcb@yhtac. Please include your name, city, and state. You can follow her @cathymrosenthal

I have a 13-1/2 year old wheaten terrier. He is in failing health. The veterinarian told us he has severe arthritis in his back legs and has a large gingival mass in the left maxillary region. We have not had the mass biopsied because of his age.

The reason I am writing to you is if I take his collar and leash off, he gets very aggressive when I put it on him again. Therefore, I have been leaving his leash on all the time. It seems worse at night. I think dementia is setting in because sometimes he just stares into space. I would appreciate your thoughts regarding Ollie.

– Susanne, East Hampton, New York

Dear Susanne,

I am sorry to hear about Ollie. When dogs with failing health display aggression towards their owners at this stage of life, chances are they are in pain. Your veterinarian can prescribe pain medication to help, but this solution may be short-lived, as the pain often breaks through again.
It sounds like you are dealing with end of life issues, which is difficult for every pet parent. Talk with your veterinarian so you know all your options and can be prepared to help Ollie over the rainbow bridge when it’s time.

Cathy M. Rosenthal is a longtime animal advocate, children’s author, syndicated pet columnist, and pet expert with more than 30 years in the animal welfare field. Send your pet questions, stories and tips to moc.tidnuptepobfsctd-977d6b@yhtac. Please include your name, city, and state. You can follow her @cathymrosenthal