Is my cat grieving?

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Is my cat grieving?

Updated Dec 8, 2024

Dear Cathy,

Our seven-year-old cat started licking his front paws. He has always been afraid of everything, but it has progressively gotten worse. He jumps at the slightest noise – a loud bang sends him running and hiding. We’ve always treated him with love and cuddling. Our other sixteen-year-old cat died a couple of months ago. The two of them were never close, but they got along. We thought he might be lonely because he has been lethargic lately. What do you think?

– William, South Elgin, Illinois

Dear William,

Most cats run and hide when they hear a “loud bang,” so I wouldn’t worry about that behavior. But some of the anxiousness, excessive licking, and lethargy you describe may be him grieving for his friend. Even if cats in the same household don’t appear close, they can still be comforted by each other’s presence in the home. The surviving cat may be feeling vulnerable without his friend.

Because of his age, make sure the lethargy is not related to any health problems. If his health is fine, then plug in a few feline pheromones around the house and turn on a white noise machine to reduce his jumpiness. Cats do grieve, so give him time to adjust to his new normal.

Cathy M. Rosenthal is a longtime animal advocate, author, columnist and pet expert who has more than 25 years in the animal welfare field. Send your pet questions, stories and tips to moc.tidnuptepobfsctd-4ca30b@yhtac. Please include your name, city, and state. You can follow her @cathymrosenthal

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Cathy Rosenthal (aka The Pet Pundit), CHES, CFE

Animal Welfare Communications Strategist, Writer & Educator

Cathy M. Rosenthal is an award-winning humane educator and author, animal welfare strategist, pet columnist, and speaker who has spent more than 38 years working in animal welfare with local and national humane organizations. She helps people better understand and care for animals through her nationally syndicated My Pet World column and has been the longtime pet columnist for the San Antonio Express-News since 2003.

In addition to her writing, Cathy develops humane education, leadership, customer service, and compassion fatigue training programs for animal welfare organizations nationwide, and has helped raise millions of dollars through grant writing, strategic communications, and program development.

Cathy is the editor and curator of Humane Perspectives: Leadership in Animal Welfare and is the author of several books, including Grant Writing Boot Camp for Animal AdvocatesThe Lucky Tale of Two Dogs, and The Happy Tale of Two Cats, which was the 2026 winner of the Association of Professional Humane Educators’ (APHE) "Educator’s Choice Award" for Best Humane Education Book for Young Children. She also received the 2026 APHE Nathania Gartman Heroes Award for Impact in Humane Education. Her humane education programs in Texas have reached more than 45,000 elementary school children since 2019.

She resides in Texas with her husband, their cat Sterling, and a former community cat, Maddie, who successfully negotiated an indoor living arrangement but still considers human affection highly negotiable.

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