By Cathy M. Rosenthal
Recently, I had to talk to a new neighbor about our dogs — mine and hers. She’s a renter, and we share a fence line. Our dogs had started fence fighting — racing back and forth, barking wildly, and attacking the fence with great force. Every time it happened, I brought my dog inside.
When I would see her come out to check on her dogs, I would call out, “Your dogs can stay outside. I’m bringing my dog in.”
I said this to be helpful. I work from home, so my dog gets plenty of outside time during the day. Her dogs, on the other hand, are usually inside since she works outside the home. I thought I was being considerate. But my well-intentioned comments had created some unexpected tension.
I found out when our dogs managed to knock several boards loose in the fence and ended up face to face, growling, barking, and escalating. I knocked on her door to talk about reinforcing the fence.
When she opened the door, her expression told me everything. She looked annoyed. Still, I took a breath and said, “I wanted to see if we could talk about the dogs and the fence.”
She didn’t hesitate: “Dogs bark. You’re always saying you’ll bring your dog inside when they bark, but my dogs need to be outside, too.”
Her tone made it clear; this wasn’t the first time someone had confronted her about her dogs. She was ready to defend them.
“I’m sorry,” I said gently. “Do you think I’m implying you should bring your dogs inside?”
“Yes,” she said. “But dogs bark. That’s what they do. My dogs should be able to be outside, too.”
“Absolutely,” I said. “They should get outside time. My dog gets more outside time than yours during the day, and I really just wanted your dogs to enjoy their time outside without worrying about fence fights.”
“Absolutely,” I agreed. “My dog gets more outside time than yours during the day, and I really just wanted your dogs to enjoy their time outside without worrying about fence fights.”
But I also realized something important in that moment: what I thought I was communicating had never actually been said. We hadn’t discussed any arrangement. I was trying to be thoughtful, but it was all in my head, not in reality. She, on the other hand, expected me to be coming over to complain or get angry. We were both operating on assumptions, not understanding.
She softened. “I have two pit bulls,” she said, “and people are always complaining about them.”
I told her I didn’t care about her dogs’ breed. We both had large-breed dogs who could break a fence. I just wanted to keep them all safe and find a better solution for the fence fighting. I told her I was fine bringing my dog inside in the early evening, so her dogs could get fresh air too.
Later that day, I saw her rolling chicken wire across the base of the fence and stapling it in place. “This should help my dogs not fence fight so much,” she said. “And if they break a board, they won’t be able to get through to each other.”
“What a great idea,” I said. “I’ll do that on my side too.”
She smiled. The tension between us eased.
As we chatted more, I discovered she was a dog groomer, and I shared that I work in animal welfare. Two animal lovers, each expecting a confrontation, had actually been on the same side all along. We ended up becoming friends. Sometimes, it just takes a conversation to uncover common ground.
Talking to Neighbors About Barking Dogs: Tips That Help
Conversations about barking dogs can quickly go wrong, especially if your neighbor feels judged or blamed. Here’s how to approach these conversations in a way that keeps relationships — and the peace — intact:
1. Start with curiosity, not criticism.
Instead of leading with complaints, ask questions: “Hey, I’ve noticed the dogs barking a lot during the day. Have you noticed that too?” Framing it as a shared observation gives you both space to talk about solutions.
2. Be clear about your goal.
Let your neighbor know if you’re looking to reduce tension, protect the dogs, or prevent future issues. This keeps the focus on shared concerns rather than assigning blame.
3. Use “I” statements, not “you” accusations.
“I get nervous when the barking escalates at the fence” is easier to hear than saying, “Your dogs bark too much.” Own your perspective without telling your neighbor what they’re doing wrong.
4. Assume good intentions.
Most people care about their pets and want to be good neighbors. If you come in assuming they don’t care, it’s harder to get cooperation.
5. Be patient and solution-focused.
Change won’t always happen overnight. However, when you approach the issue respectfully, it opens the door to collaboration, as seen in our shared chicken wire fix. I thought her idea was a genuis way of reinforcing the fence. The dogs didn’t fence fight anymore after that because they didn’t like the feel of their nails on the chicken wire. It’s a solution I hadn’t thought of, and I have recommended her solution to dog owners countless times since then.
6. Be mindful of your tone and body language.
Smile if you can. Keep your voice calm and your arms relaxed. A defensive posture, even unintentionally, can escalate a situation faster than words.
7. Time it right.
Never raise concerns right after a barking episode when tensions are high. Pick a calm moment to start the conversation.
When to Get Help
Sometimes, talking things out isn’t enough — or sometimes a neighbor simply won’t care. If barking is excessive, happens at all hours, or creates an ongoing disturbance, and conversations haven’t led to improvement, it’s okay to seek outside help.
Here are some options:
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Animal Control or Local Ordinance Enforcement – In some areas, repeated nuisance barking is a violation that can be enforced. Calling animal control doesn’t necessarily lead to penalties. In many cases, an officer may act as a mediator to help resolve the issue.
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HOA or Mediation Services – If you live in a community with a homeowners’ association, they may offer neutral support or have processes in place for resolving pet disputes.
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Neighborhood Meetings – If several households are affected, consider asking a local animal control officer to speak at a neighborhood meeting about responsible pet ownership and barking concerns.
Barking Is Normal, But Ongoing Conflict Isn’t
Dogs bark. It’s part of who they are. But unresolved barking battles between neighbors can lead to broken fences, bad blood, or worse. Address it early, talk it out with kindness, and focus on what’s best for the dogs and your neighborhood.
