Should you worry when your cat goes from shy to friendly?

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Should you worry when your cat goes from shy to friendly?

Updated Dec 8, 2024

Dear Cathy,

We have a female cat named Polly who we believe is about 17 years old. She’s always been shy; no one has ever been able to pet her or get close to her. We adopted her with her twin sister Molly. Both of them hid under the china cabinet the first year we had them. Last year, Molly, who became our social, loving girl, died from kidney failure. Now, in the last week, Polly has become very friendly and loving and allows my wife and myself to pet her and pick her up. She sits with my wife every night. Should we be concerned with this change is personality?

– George & Bonnie

Dear George and Bonnie,

Animals living in multi-pet households often change their behaviors whenever another pet is added or leaves the household in some way. It’s quite possible Molly was protective of you and your wife and kept Polly away with subtle body language gestures.

Don’t worry about the change in behavior though. Becoming friendly and loving is never a sign of a disease or illness, so celebrate Polly’s new outgoing nature – and don’t adopt another cat right now to replace Molly. If you do, Polly could respond by hiding again. Instead, let Polly be the solo cat in your household so that she can enjoy attention from both of you for the remainder of her life. She has a lot of catching up to do. 

Cathy M. Rosenthal is a longtime animal advocate, author, columnist and pet expert who has more than 25 years in the animal welfare field. Send your pet questions, stories and tips to moc.tidnuptepobfsctd-77f801@yhtac. Please include your name, city, and state. You can follow her @cathymrosenthal

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Cathy Rosenthal (aka The Pet Pundit), CHES, CFE

Animal Welfare Communications Strategist, Writer & Educator

Cathy M. Rosenthal is an award-winning humane educator and author, animal welfare strategist, pet columnist, and speaker who has spent more than 38 years working in animal welfare with local and national humane organizations. She helps people better understand and care for animals through her nationally syndicated My Pet World column and has been the longtime pet columnist for the San Antonio Express-News since 2003.

In addition to her writing, Cathy develops humane education, leadership, customer service, and compassion fatigue training programs for animal welfare organizations nationwide, and has helped raise millions of dollars through grant writing, strategic communications, and program development.

Cathy is the editor and curator of Humane Perspectives: Leadership in Animal Welfare and is the author of several books, including Grant Writing Boot Camp for Animal Advocates, The Lucky Tale of Two Dogs, and The Happy Tale of Two Cats, which was the 2026 winner of the Association of Professional Humane Educators’ (APHE) "Educator’s Choice Award" for Best Humane Education Book for Young Children. She also received the 2026 APHE Nathania Gartman Heroes Award for Impact in Humane Education. Her humane education programs in Texas have reached more than 45,000 elementary school children since 2019.

She resides in Texas with her husband, their cat Sterling, and a former community cat, Maddie, who successfully negotiated an indoor living arrangement but still considers human affection highly negotiable.

Humane Perspectives: Leadership in Animal Welfare is on Sale Now! Special website-only price for a limited time! Order your copy today.

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