Sleep-deprived mom needs help with wide-awake cat

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Sleep-deprived mom needs help with wide-awake cat

Updated Dec 8, 2024

Dear Cathy,

I am a cat lover and have had several cats over the years. I have a three-year-old Russian Blue that I adopted from a shelter. She is very sweet and smart. The problem is, she sleeps all day and is up all night. I wouldn’t mind it if she would just play, but she cries for me, and I end up getting out of bed. 

I have taken her to the vet who has prescribed pills to calm her down at night. It didn’t work. I got Feliway (pheromones) to plug-in, but no luck. I tried Melatonin treats, but she didn’t like them. I tried “calming” treats, which she likes. That helped some. I also got catnip and catnip toys and bouncy balls for us to play with before bedtime. That has helped some, but the minute I go to bed, she cries for me. 

I love her, but I am worn out and sleep-deprived.  I am keeping her, no matter what, but any advice on this would be appreciated.

– Linda, St Cloud, Florida

Dear Linda,

We can learn a lot from how cats train their humans. If your feline cries and you get up, she will cry the next night again because the training worked on you. The trick with cats is always to outlast them. It’s not easy.

Cats are nocturnal, and so it’s perfectly natural for them to sleep 16 hours a day and then be up all night. You are on the right track with trying to play with her before bedtime. You should feed her before bedtime too. All animals tend to nap after they eat and play.

Also, do what you can to keep her awake when you are around. When we are tired, we often let our cats sleep in our laps, only to have them wide awake at bedtime. 

As for you, put on a white noise machine in your room to block her mews. Buy yourself some earplugs at the drugstore or put on headphones with soft music, so you can ignore her and get some sleep. It may take six to eight weeks to get a positive result, but she should eventually realize her cries are not making Mom get up anymore.  

She may resort to getting in bed with you and “pawing” you awake. Ignore her and turn over. Cats are results-oriented creatures, so if her behaviors don’t engage you, she will eventually find something else to do. Better yet, she may curl up beside you when she realizes it’s the only way she can be close to you between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m.

Be strong.

Cathy M. Rosenthal is a longtime animal advocate, children’s author, syndicated pet columnist, and pet expert with more than 30 years in the animal welfare field. Send your pet questions, stories and tips to moc.tidnuptepobfsctd-416723@yhtac. Please include your name, city, and state. You can follow her @cathymrosenthal

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Cathy Rosenthal (aka The Pet Pundit), CHES, CFE

Animal Welfare Communications Strategist, Writer & Educator

Cathy M. Rosenthal is an award-winning humane educator and author, animal welfare strategist, pet columnist, and speaker who has spent more than 38 years working in animal welfare with local and national humane organizations. She helps people better understand and care for animals through her nationally syndicated My Pet World column and has been the longtime pet columnist for the San Antonio Express-News since 2003.

In addition to her writing, Cathy develops humane education, leadership, customer service, and compassion fatigue training programs for animal welfare organizations nationwide, and has helped raise millions of dollars through grant writing, strategic communications, and program development.

Cathy is the editor and curator of Humane Perspectives: Leadership in Animal Welfare and is the author of several books, including Grant Writing Boot Camp for Animal Advocates, The Lucky Tale of Two Dogs, and The Happy Tale of Two Cats, which was the 2026 winner of the Association of Professional Humane Educators’ (APHE) "Educator’s Choice Award" for Best Humane Education Book for Young Children. She also received the 2026 APHE Nathania Gartman Heroes Award for Impact in Humane Education. Her humane education programs in Texas have reached more than 45,000 elementary school children since 2019.

She resides in Texas with her husband, their cat Sterling, and a former community cat, Maddie, who successfully negotiated an indoor living arrangement but still considers human affection highly negotiable.

Humane Perspectives: Leadership in Animal Welfare is on Sale Now! Special website-only price for a limited time! Order your copy today.

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