By Cathy M. Rosenthal
Tis the season for giving, and for some, the idea of giving a pet as a gift may seem like the ultimate gesture of love and care. But is it really a good idea? The question of whethe”to give or not to give” a pet as a gift is one that has sparked much debate over the years.
For someone who has spent decades educating people about why pets should never be given as gifts, I surprised even myself a few years ago when I explored why, under certain circumstances, giving a pet as a gift might actually be okay. Unsurprisingly, this shift in perspective stirred strong reactions from readers, with some passionately questioning the idea.
“Why would you write this, Cathy? People are just going to get pets impulsively and then give them up weeks or months later. I thought you knew this happened!” wrote one reader.
Of course, I know this can happen, which is why I spent the better part of my career warning against the risks of impulsive adoptions, mismatched expectations, and eventual surrenders. The concerns are valid. But then something changed: A few years ago, the ASPCA conducted a study on this issue and turned conventional wisdom on its head.
Their findings showed no evidence that pets given as gifts were more likely to be surrendered to shelters. In fact, the opposite was true. The study found that pets gifted during the holidays often strengthened the bond between pet and owner. Many recipients cherished their pets even more because they associated them with the thoughtful gesture of the gift-giver.
Examining this New Revelation
I have to admit that this revelation was difficult to accept after nearly 30 years of firmly opposing the idea. But facts are facts, and I had to rethink my position when presented with this new evidence.
I called several local animal shelters around the country to ask if they experienced a post-holiday surge in pet returns. To my surprise, not one reported an increase. But my guess also was that most shelters didn’t know pets were being adopted and given as gifts, so there might not have been a fair way to monitor that situation. But still, if there was no surge in returns after the holidays, shouldn’t we rethink pets make good gifts?
I did think about it here, and I still don’t recommend giving pets as surprise gifts. For me, the joy of finding that special companion comes from the search itself—from the moment of connection when you meet an animal and feel the bond form naturally. That’s something I wouldn’t want anyone to miss out on – and why would I give a pet I bonded with to someone else in the hopes they bond too?
But giving a pet as a gift may be a good idea under the right circumstances. Here’s how I recommend you approach it.
- Involve the Recipient in the Process: If the person is friend or family, let them participate in the excitement of finding a pet. This could involve a gift card for the adoption fee or a planned outing to a shelter, ensuring they choose the pet that suits their lifestyle and personality.
- Assess the Recipient’s Readiness for a Pet: Just because someone wants a pet doesn’t mean they are ready for one. Before considering a pet as a gift, ensure the recipient is genuinely ready for the responsibility. This includes understanding their living situation, financial stability, and lifestyle to confirm they can commit to a pet’s long-term needs. Additionally, consider whether they have the time, energy, and willingness to meet a pet’s daily care, training, and emotional needs for its entire lifespan.
- Lead the Selection for Children: If the recipient is a child, the parents should choose the pet, as they are ultimately responsible for the pet’s care. Parents need to feel confident and comfortable with the commitment before bringing a pet into the home and determine if their children are ready for a pet.
- Consider the Timing of the Gift: If you’re considering giving a pet as a holiday gift, remember that the holidays can be hectic for families. Travel plans, guests, and general busyness can make it challenging to give a new pet the attention and care it needs to settle into its new home. It might be better to wait until life quiets down. If the family is set on adopting during the holidays, make sure they are ready to provide low-key time for the pet to adjust to their new home. This does not mean locking them in a bedroom but planning their day so they are getting proper family bonding time, quiet time, sleep time, and nap time.
Give Gifts That Support Pet Ownership Instead
If you know someone who already has a pet—or wants one—consider giving them something to support their pet’s care instead of the pet itself. Many pet owners would appreciate practical gifts like paying for their pet’s annual vaccinations, a microchip, pet toys, chew sticks, or even a vet visit.
Other thoughtful options include giving pet food or treats or pet supplies, like leashes, collars, new ID tags, beds, chew toys, scratching posts, or litter boxes. A gift certificate to a pet supply store is another excellent idea, giving them the freedom to choose what their pet needs most. These gifts show you care about the person and their pet without adding the pressure of introducing a new animal into their home.
Taking the Long View
While I’ve softened my stance on pets as gifts, I still urge everyone to approach this carefully. Pets are not toys or objects to be wrapped up with a bow; they are living beings with needs, emotions, and lifespans that often stretch 10 to 20 years. For those ready to commit, a new pet can be the start of a beautiful journey. But for those who aren’t quite there yet, supporting a friend or loved one in caring for their existing pet—or helping them prepare for a future pet—is an equally thoughtful and meaningful gesture.
Do you have a pet question? Please send it to Cathy at moc.tidnuptep@yhtac. You can visit her website at cathyrosenthal.com.
